From across the booth over breakfast, a friend says, “These masks? We’re going to be wearing them next March.”

I don’t disagree.

“You know why? Because we weren’t wearing them this March,” I reply.

So does this mean we can’t have college football? It’s complicated. It’s hard to find common sense in complicated things. No scientist is going to produce a reliable COVID-19 vaccine by using common sense. If common sense could cure the coronavirus, all we’d have to do is stop drinking Corona beer, and giving up limes might be a start. Or drinking Clorox. Or shining a light up our rears.

Maybe it will just go away. Let’s try that. Oh, wait …

As these words are flowing from my fingers, rather sporadically, it appears almost anything could happen. The Big 10, the PAC-12, the Mid-American Conference, the Mountain West, the Knights of Columbus, the Veterans of Foreign Wars, the Sons of Katie Elder and the Daughters of the American Revolution are going to cancel or postpone college sports in the fall. Many colleges are playing only conference games because, apparently, only conference members are safe and sanitized for the athletes’ protection. They can’t trust other conferences because God knows where those conferences have been.

The most successful college football coach of recent history, Alabama’s Nick Saban, thinks the Crimson Tide should play because he can provide better protection for his players than if he let them go out and mingle with the public. Clemson’s Trevor Lawrence, the most successful quarterback still in college, feels the same way. Out west, some ballplayers spread the ridiculous notion that college lives matter. Imagine that.

It’s hard to wade through all the hubbub, the scuttlebutt, the whatnot, what “they” say and “what I hear” without piling up a pile of absurdity that makes nuclear deterrence seem logical.

Why do we build these bombs? So that we’ll never have to use them, silly!

At this moment, on TV, the Carolina Hurricanes are playing a hockey match against the Boston Bruins in Toronto, Ont., because that is supposedly where it is safe. Meanwhile, a baseball team, the Toronto Blue Jays, is playing home games in Buffalo, N.Y., because the Canadian government doesn’t think Toronto is safe.

It’s confusing. The motto is “go figure.” The slogan is “it is what it is.” The refrain is “let them play and see what happens.” The retort is “better safe than sorry.” The last word isn’t a word: “duh.”

I want sports. This is a sports website. It runs better with sports. I am a sportswriter. I write better with sports.

My only advantage seems to be that no one else knows what he or she wants. The hidden consequence of COVID-19 is schizophrenia.

The final words of Bridge on the River Kwai, uttered by one Major Clipton, have occurred to me over and over in 2020, when, inexplicably, no one’s vision is 20/20.

Madness! Madness!”

It’s all that makes sense.